Roast: Ezra’s Hair

I am an inside man. I know the ins and outs, the nooks and crannies of his heart. Brace yourself because we are about to embark on a journey, a journey that may leave you confused, angry, and not horny. We are going to examine the history of Ezra Justin Lee’s hair. Since he is a man now, we can reflect back on his past wrongs, before we close the book of his childhood.

He can’t do anything about it anyway since I own his life now (if he hasn’t told you, I am the manager of his band and his life.)

Now if you knew Ezra back when he was Justin, his hair was not calm, stylishly unkempt, and sexy like it is today. It was more like a toupee:

Yes, my friends. It may be hard to believe, but Ezra’s hair looked like THAT.

He tried many things. Drugs, base jumping, kinky sexual escapades, and the south-side donut binge diet, but none of this could provide him with good hair.

He tried the “Founding Fathers” look:

And tried shaving his head,

But nothing would do.

He resorted to wearing a bandanna, but you can’t do that more than once a week.

He was a lost boy.

Then Ezra tried something. He let Samuel Han Dong Han cut his hair. Then he wore a hat.

(I don’t know who took this picture)

The end result was something beautiful. Like a butterfly from the chrysalis, Ezra became hot stuff.

He even got a 3-piece suit.

You did it man. You did it.

Happy 21st.